


Life Worth Living

by RookieSand



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending, Sad, i love these two as bffs, there's a little bit of angst, this is mostly just ryuji reflecting on things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RookieSand/pseuds/RookieSand
Summary: Ryuji hangs out with Ann and thinks about all the bad stuff in his life.





	Life Worth Living

Ryuji’s room was dirty. He was scrambling to clean as much as he could. He threw away empty soda bottles, candy wrappers, fast food wrappers, and anything else that he deemed not worthy to stay in the room. The blankets and pillows that were on the floor got tossed onto the bed. He didn’t have enough time to make the bed so that would have to do. He picked up all the dirty laundry and tossed it into his closet. He surveyed the room once more. This would have to do.

“Ryuji!” he heard his mother call from downstairs. “Ann is here. I’ll just send her up.”

“Okay!” he called back. To himself, he added, “Shit she’s early. Of course.”

Moments later, Ann Takamaki came strolling into the room. She was dressed in a tight black tank top and denim shorts. A flannel shirt was tied around her waist.

“Hi, Ryuji!” she said sweetly. She crossed the room in several long strides and threw her arms around his neck.

Ryuji hugged her back a little awkwardly. “Hi, Ann.”

Ann sat on the bed without pause. She grabbed the manga that was sitting on the nightstand and fell back, holding it open in front of her face. She flipped through a couple pages. “So what do you want to do today?”

Ryuji sat down on the floor beside Ann's dangling legs. "I thought maybe we could just study. Exams are coming up and Ren went out with Makoto to Shinjuku."

Ann sat up again and looked down at Ryuji. "What are those two doing in Shinjuku?!"

"Hell if I know! But he didn't want to study tonight and I really need to study."

Ann ruffled his hair and gave him a sympathetic smile. "I don't know how much help I'll actually be, but you know that I'll help you out!" She slid onto the floor beside him. "Let's get started!"

Ryuji and Ann studied for several hours. As much as he tried, he was more distracted by Ann than he'd thought he'd be. Ann was someone who he had been best friends with in middle school. The two of them and their best friend Shiho were a force to be reckoned with. They were almost inseparable. He couldn't remember a time when they weren't causing trouble for the whole school. He had so many fond memories of going to the park close to the school. They'd play pirates or royalty or sometimes even pretend to be thieves. Then, Ryuji's home life had gotten worse. 

Before, his father had been bad. Ryuji could handle his outbursts. He could hide in his room. He could go to Ann or Shiho's house. His mother often ordered him to go home with one of the girls and not come home until later when his father was sure to be okay. Sometimes he stayed the night with Ann because his mother wouldn't allow him to come home. His mother protected him as best she could. She did her best to keep his father happy. But then one day, his father just couldn't be sated anymore. He grew more violent. His outbursts were more frequent. Ryuji started to go to school with more bruises. More injuries. His father's berating words echoing through his head. His grades plummeted. He acted out. He didn't want to play in the park anymore because he was hurt and hungry. He wanted to be home now because he wasn't sure his mother could handle all the abuse on her own. He had to help her.

Ann and Shiho began to worry about him. They'd ask him questions. They'd bring him food to school. They'd offer to take him home and let him spend the night. He remembered a particularly bad day. He had a bruise right where the collar of his shirt was. Ann had noticed. She tried to help. Ryuji snapped at her then. He screamed that he didn't want her help anymore. He just wanted her to leave him alone.

She did. And with her went Shiho. He was alone. To make matters worse, the next school year as they entered their last year of middle school, the trio was broken up. Ryuji ended up in a different class than Ann and Shiho. He stopped talking to them completely. If he saw them in the halls, he'd duck his head and walk faster.

It seemed they were getting on fine without him anyway. He saw them often together, laughing and having a good time. Something he barely even knew anymore. Shiho had joined the volleyball team. Ann did as well, but only because Shiho had first. It was almost like they had forgotten about him. It killed him to have lost his only friends.

Then, what Ryuji thought was a miracle happened. His father left. One day he came home after school. His mother was sitting stricken at the kitchen table. Her stare blank, tears rolling down her cheeks as if she had no control over it.

Ryuji walked to her side and placed a hand on hers gently. He said nothing. His mother had taught him long ago to never speak when he came home. To keep as quiet as possible, as to avoid upsetting his father. He had no idea the man wasn't even there.

His mother turned to him, her eyes filling with recognition. She sprung forward and pulled him into a tight hug. Ryuji could barely breathe smothered in her embrace. She started to sob, her whole body shaking as she held her baby boy in her arms. 

"He's gone," she whispered to him. "He's gone. He's gone. He's gone." She started to pet his hair as she repeated the same words over and over and over again to him.

His eyes welled up with tears at her words. He hugged her back tightly, unable to speak. They were free.

After that day, Ryuji realized that life didn't get better because one bad person was gone. He still had no friends at school. He still was seen as a troublemaker by all his classmates and the teachers. His mother was gone now more often than not. She had found a job and was working hard to support him. He learned to cook and would make dinner for her so she could eat. Sometimes she did eat. Other times she went straight to bed. Any time off she had was spent sleeping. It seemed she never had any time for him anymore. He felt more alone than he had in a long time. He wished his mother would pay attention to him again but there wasn't much that he could do about it.

On a class trip to the aquarium, Ryuji spoke to Ann for the first time in a long time. "Ann," he said softly. "Can I borrow some money?"

Before it wouldn't have been weird for Ryuji to ask Ann for money. She knew full well about his home life and financial situation. She would gladly lend him money for toys and food if he asked, which he didn't very often.

Ann looked at him as if he were a ghost. "What-What for?"

Ryuji pointed to the dolphin plush that was in the window of the gift shop. It was cute and had a broad smile on its long muzzle. It was blue and white. He remembered, vaguely, a time when his mother had said she loved dolphins. "I want to buy that. For my mom. But I don't have enough money. I'll pay you back, I promise! I just don't have it right now. Please, Ann."

Ann made a face then dug in her bag for the money. She handed it to him. "Okay. But just this once."

"Thank you, Ann," he said, gratefully taking the money. He turned away quickly before she could see the tears that were welling in his eyes.

It was that day that Ryuji had noticed Ann for the first time. She was beautiful. Everything about her was perfect. Her kind smile. Her blue eyes. Her long blonde hair that flowed around her in pigtails. She was taller than him still and he liked that about her. He couldn't say he loved her, but he had a newfound liking for her. He missed her charming personality. He missed spending so much time with her. He missed her and he wanted to be everything for her again.

Ryuji now wanted to do things to gain Ann's attention. What did girls like? Sports? He joined the track team. He was always faster than most of the kids in his class so he decided it would be the easiest to jump into. He was one of the star players for the track team. But Ann still didn't notice him. He tried dying his hair to blond to match hers. That only made him stick out like a sore thumb and get in trouble with the teachers. He dressed out of uniform. Girls liked bad boys right? That just got him into more trouble. He got in fights now with other boys who picked on him for the things he was doing. Nothing was working and now he was worse off than when he started. Ann barely looked at him. She was always busy with Shiho.

The only good thing to come out of this whole stint was that he had become amazing at track and field. His coach said he could get a great scholarship if he continued to run in high school. Ryuji hadn't even thought of where he wanted to go for high school. That was until one day he overheard Ann and Shiho talking about how they were going to be attending Shujin Academy. Shiho was going there because the volleyball team was very good and she wanted to continue to play. Ann was going because it was where Shiho was going. Ryuji was going because it was where Ann was going. If only he realized his mistake sooner.

At Shujin, his life became hell. The work was harder. His grades dropped lower than they'd ever been. The old coach was replaced with a new asshole. And then. 

The medical bills from his broken leg were high. Ryuji's mother did her best to support him. He heard her crying in her room at night. She had no idea how she was going to take care of him. She heard about how he was acting in school and there wasn't any way she could save him.

Ryuji spiraled after that. He hated himself. He was a burden to his mother. His leg was broken and he couldn't even help her around the house anymore. Was his life ever going to be okay? He'd never run again. He'd never get a scholarship to send him to college. How was he supposed to make it now? Everything was falling apart. He missed Ann and he missed Shiho. He wished things could go back to the way they used to be. When they would play pirates on the playground. He just wanted things to be okay.

The rest of the school year passed quietly. Ryuji stopped giving a shit about anything. He couldn't even think of a reason to give a shit anymore. He hated himself and he hated the world he lived in even more. He did what he wanted when he wanted and honestly, it was the only thing that was keeping him going. He became labeled as a delinquent but he didn't mind anymore. Let them call him what they wanted. He didn't care what everybody thought of him. He went home to his mother and did his best by her now. He wanted to fix what he had done to her. To him, it was her and him against the world.

Then, his life changed forever when he met Ren Amamiya. 

And the rest was history.

But his crush on Ann had remained. Recently, because of Ren, they'd been hanging out again. They even hung out outside of Ren. Unfortunately, Shiho couldn't join them because of her accident. Ryuji tried not to bring it up, but he missed the old days with the three of them hanging out. He wanted to be friends again. He also wanted to be more than friends with Ann.

He watched her as she wrote things down on his worksheet now. Her bangs were falling into her eyes and she gently brushed them to the side. He was dying inside as he watched her. She was so beautiful.

"Ryuji," she said quietly. She tapped the pencil on the book in front of her. "Can I tell you something secret?"

"Anything," Ryuji responded immediately. 

"I think I love Shiho," Ann continued, her voice dropping even lower.

Ryuji went silent his thoughts whirling. Ann liked Shiho? No, Ann _loved_ Shiho. He leaned forward a bit. How had he not seen this coming? Now that he thought about it, everything about that made sense to him. They were perfect for each other. And Ann had gone to Shujin for no other reason than to be with Shiho. Just like he had followed them to Shujin to be with Ann. In fact, most things that Ann ever did was for Shiho.

"Well, say something," Ann pouted. "I'm embarrassed enough about it as is."

"Sorry," Ryuji responded quickly. "I just realized that that makes total sense now. I... I think you should go for it." He held his hands together tightly and didn't look at her.

"Are you okay?" He felt her hand gently touch his shoulder. He tensed slightly under her touch. "Wait, Ryuji, do you... like me?"

He didn't respond. He didn't want to lie to her about liking her. But he wasn't sure he could exactly tell the truth. 

"Ryuji, oh my God, say something!" 

"I do like you, Ann," he responded. "It's why I followed you and Shiho to Shujin."

Ann threw her arms around him again and gave him a giant hug. "Ryuji!" she cried, with a giant smile on her face. "Oh my God, everything makes sense now!" She ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" he asked. A blush was starting to creep up his neck and flood his cheeks.

"Why you were so weird in our last year of middle school. All the stupid shit you'd keep doing around me. It's because you were trying to impress me, wasn't it?"

Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at Ann. "I mean..."

She laughed. "Ryuji... Man, if I wasn't so blinded by Shiho, I might've actually noticed back then."

Ryuji chuckled a bit. "Shiho really is a light, huh?"

"You have no idea."

The two fell into a comfortable silence for a minute. Ryuji reflected on what just happened. Although it was kind of sad that Ann didn't like him back, he wasn't surprised. He really hadn't expected her to like him back if he was being honest with himself. He was just glad that she liked Shiho though. He wondered how Shiho felt about it. 

"Can us three hang out again?" Ryuji asked.

"Of course. Just like old times," Ann responded brightly. "I'd love to have my two favorite people together again. We can go visit Shiho in the hospital together."

"I'd really like that, Ann."

Ann smiled and brushed her bangs out of her face. He couldn't help but think it was cute. "Do you like anyone else besides me?"

Ryuji thought for a moment. He'd been harboring secret feelings that he hadn't been able to tell anybody about at this point. But since Ann had just come clean to him about liking a girl, perhaps he could come clean...

"I like Ren," he said after another moment's hesitation. "I... really like Ren."

Ann blinked in surprise and her mouth fell open. "NO!" she gasped. "Ryuji, oh my God! That's... wow. I never would've pegged you for a Ren kind of guy."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You really like those bad boy types, huh?" she responded with a smirk.

"Shut up!"

The two fell into a loud fit of laughter.

The last three months had been the best months in Ryuji's entire life he was pretty sure. He had friends again. He'd rekindled a relationship with a girl that he thought he'd lost forever. He made friends with a boy he liked and couldn't imagine living without now. Even the student council president of his school was his friend now. He was staying out of trouble, mostly, and his mother was happy for him. He even managed to pick up a small part-time job to help her.

Life was good.

Life was worth living.

**Author's Note:**

> i like to think that ryuji had some feelings for ann. but since his life kind of sucked he and ann had a falling out. but everything is good and okay in his world now.  
> i think he also was in a bad headspace for a long time. probably close until he met ren.


End file.
